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01/09/2020

Introverted character, do not like social intercourse how to do?

Bao's mother often says that her children are too shy. Obviously, she loves dancing and singing at home. She is very lively, but when she comes to a person, she feels embarrassed and asks her mother to accompany her and refuses to play with other children.


My family is also a shy baby. Shyness is not just timidity and blushing. Shyness also includes a series of behavior patterns: very quiet in public, fear of meeting strangers, being alone, being hesitant and clumsy in oral expression, and not adapting to social situations.


I tell others that shyness is a natural character, and many people don't believe it.


Shyness is inherited


There is scientific evidence that personality can be inherited, and psychologists have done a lot of comparative experiments.


From 4 months on, the baby's personality differences show, shy baby in the face of all unfamiliar and challenging situations and people will show anxiety, tension and caution. Babies with a non shy personality are naturally comfortable. Scientists believe that this difference is caused by differences in brain arousal, which can be inherited.


It doesn't mean you can't change your personality. To a new environment, contact with new people, this kind of life has a major transformation, the most prone to personality changes. For example, every time you enter a school, or change schools. Because this transformation has special requirements for social character and adaptation to strangers, when these abilities are not successfully mastered, they may become more shy and lasting changes. If you have experiences that promote self-confidence, it is quite possible to bring about changes in the opposite direction, that is, to become extroverted.



A shy personality can last a lifetime


In our generation, our parents mainly care about our food and clothing, and only pay attention to our academic performance. Lack of awareness to guide us to adapt to the new environment, so many people, in the end, continue this innate shyness, or change into a shy personality. When I grow up, I'm not good at socializing, I like to be alone, and I dare not express my opinions in many occasions.


As adults, we find that extroverts with strong social skills are more likely to become team leaders. Because they are good at networking, they are more likely to succeed. And introverted, do not like to communicate with people are easy to become a group of people dominated. As parents, they want their children to be cheerful and lively.


So the experience of having a shy baby is:


-Baby seems to be willing to play with this child. Quickly add a wechat and ask her to walk her baby every day. Even if she can't make an appointment for 9 times out of 10 times, she still perseveres.


-Found that a colleague's children and my family age is almost the same, hurry to ask him to come home for dinner: Fruit gifts don't take, bring your children.


Originally introverted, not sociable, we were forced to become social talent. We can say that we spare no effort to change the shyness of children.



Shyness can change


In our community, a mother used this method. Give the child 10 minutes to make a friend, and then bring the friend to his mother and introduce him to his mother. It's not just a much simpler way to bring children into contact with strangers, but a deliberate exercise in social skills. Any ability can be acquired through deliberate practice, so I have to praise this mother's behavior. Let's not say whether it will bring trouble to other children, because I also want my children to make more friends, so I am willing to cooperate with them.


The good news is that, in addition to extreme shyness, children's innate temperament can change over time. Tell me about the changes of my children.


My baby used to be a famous fear of strangers in the community, never let others hold it, and cry when I can't see it. We have been creating opportunities for her to play with other children, but she always hides herself. Even if the children are invited home, she plays her own. Recently, she began to take the initiative to chase after older children, shouting: sister, let's play together.